Therefore, I have studied in the area of linguistics, which identifies a number of major language groups: Japanese, Chinese, Spanish, English, Portuguese, Arabic, Greek, German, French, and so on. The more we use a secondary language, the more comfortable we become conversing in it.Most of us grow up learning the language of our parents and siblings, which becomes our primary or native tongue. If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited.Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. At 30,000 feet, somewhere between Buffalo and Dallas, he put his magazine in his seat pocket, turned in my direction, and asked, "What kind of work do you do?
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Perhaps she was looking for love in his behavior and didn't see it. We must be willing to learn our spouse's primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.
My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling is that there are five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.
We are expressing our love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.
Therein lies the fundamental problem, and it is the purpose of this book to offer a solution. Once we discover the five basic love languages and understand our own primary love language, as well as the primary love language of our spouse, we will then have the needed information to apply the ideas in the books and articles.
Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary emotional love language.
We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating.
No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.
My friend on the plane was speaking the language of affirming words to his third wife when he said, "I told her how beautiful she was. I told her how proud I was to be her husband." He was speaking love, and he was sincere, but she did not understand his language.
The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by one's imagination.
The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.
THE TRUTH WE'RE MISSINGThe answer to those questions is the purpose of this book.