They can be nerve-wracking, exciting and, if they go well, they can be the start of something truly great.
But what, exactly is it that makes a date ‘go well?
Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says.
The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.
Maybe you’ve got your own great first date questions, surefire winners that get the conversation rolling.
Wondering how to get to the second date with someone you met online? As most online daters know, it's not the first date that's hard to get — it's the second. When you're getting to know your date, don't be prepping your next thing to say while he's talking.
In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not.
Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world.
Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.
The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.
Apprehension can strike down the most seasoned dater but, luckily, there are ways to beat it.
In a TED talk, social psychologist Amy Cuddy advises standing tall and open in times of stress, as such ‘power stances’ can raise levels of testosterone and cortisol, boosting confidence and quelling nerves.
Again, this area used to be strictly male territory.